I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
