Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
