i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
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