office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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