He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize