i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize