Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
