Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
