Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
