dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize