imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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