Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
