That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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