do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
