the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
