Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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