So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
