This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Can I color on your dick again?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
