The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
