im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
