just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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