More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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