My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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