so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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