eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
