Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
