Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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