Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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