You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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