Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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