Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
