On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
