She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
