And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
