Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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