Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i drank out of a bidet.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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