Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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