tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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