I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize