FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
