I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
