Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
