He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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