I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
