i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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