8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize