She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
