Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
