If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
