if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize