i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
