U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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