I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
