I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
