New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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