so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
