You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
