found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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