she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
