im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
