My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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