Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize