so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You have to summon your inner elephant
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
